"Social Work"

Put 200 co-workers from a large corporation in one room, open the bar, strike the band, and let the social event begin! Sound exciting? Ok maybe the open bar and the band sound exciting, but if I had it my way, I would have left the co-workers at the office. Last Friday night was the company "Winterfest Party" (i.e. belated Christmas party).

Who decides that it's a good idea to get co-workers and their spouses and/or significant others to hang out on a Friday night? Every company has social functions at least once a year, ususally at Christmas time, where co-workers are forced to socilize. Employees feel obligated to attend, spouses are pissed off for the night, and everyone is even more fake than they were during their sales pitch that same afternoon.

The cube hermits were breaking it down on the dance floor, the Regional HR Director allegedly wanted to go to a "titty bar", and her boss showed up in a cape (yes, you read it correctly, a cape....I need to take more pictures). Add some alcohol to the mix and what you have is a bunch of people standing around, not knowing what to talk about since the topic of work is socially off limits, and staring at their watches wondering when the event is going to be over. Don't forget to smile and laugh every five minutes so it's not entirely obvious that you're bored! Weird...and yet every major coporation feels the need to throw fish out of water gatherings for their employees. And if you go with the theory of drinking the night away, you might feel even more awkward on Monday morning! It's all around a lose - lose situation. Next Christmas, spare me the dinner and dancing with Buffy the Vampire and add a small kick to my paycheck!

Elevator Talk

Elevator behavior is funny I've decided, specifically "elevator talk". There is something funny about riding in elevators with other people. What do you say? What do you do? What do you think about?

This morning I was running late for work (big surprise....see previous post). I live in the 8th floor of a high rise. Like so many routine mornings, the elevator comes to get me a few minutes before 8 am. I get in and am quickly annoyed when I feel the elevator slowly coming to a halt at the 6th floor. My 6th floor neighbor walks into the elevator. I have seen this neighbor a few times before, but never have we exchanged words other than a "hello" or a "thanks" [for holding the elevator, which few people in my building have the courtesy to do]. As he walks in I say, "hello" which is one more word than most people say to their company on the elevator.

A six floor elevator transit isn't the longest elevator ride I know, but it was long enough to make things awkward. I proceeded (like many people do?) to watch the numbers as the elevators fell......5....4....3.....2......1. There is absolutely nothing intriguing about elevators controllers and yet, I don't think I'm alone in engaging in this activity when there is "elevator company."

What kind of conversation can you possibly have during a 6-story elevator ride? Coworkers talk about the weather outside and parents can yell at their children for pushing all of the buttons, but what can everyone else talk about? (Maybe that's why everyone looks at their shoes or watches the numbers as the elevator climbs or falls. Other people act as if there is nobody else in the elevator but them).

Certainly residents of the same apartment building have something to say to each other, but yet we still rode in silence. Is it normal to ride in silence? Is it abnormal to make conversation with someone? What's even funnier (and more difficult) is knowing that you will never see this person again in your life! That certainly wasn't true this morning (at least I hope not) but when you're coming out of the dentist office or riding to the top of the Sears Tower, you can bet that you won't see those people again in your life. Maybe that's why people don't talk to each other in elevators.....

Next time you're in an elevator with a stranger, pay attention to what you're doing and whatever you do, don't laugh or you will really make things uncomfortable.

An hour late and a penny short

So I finally jumped on the blog bandwagon. As with most things, I always catch on to trends after they are already out of style. I got a Nintendo when everyone was buying Sega, I don't see hit movies until they end up in the $3.99 box and Walmart, I just started reading The Davinci Code (5 years after everyone was talking about it), and I was one of the last Verizon customers to switch to a flip phone. Are blogs still "cool?"

I'm late to meetings, always get lost when I'm driving to a new destination, and typically read newspapers a week after they're published for the late breaking news. If I ever tell you a time to meet me somewhere, add at least 15 minutes. Hey, at least I'm consistent...always an hour late and a penny short....isn't that how the saying goes?